Fiddling Granny: The Ongoing Ode to Cheryl

Friday, July 24, 2009

The Ongoing Ode to Cheryl

When I found this little gem on the comments section of one of my posts, I was left no alternative. I had to publicly expose you-know-who for hiding things from us.

"I've just read the "Ode to Cheryl"....wow it's been a long time, but actually it hasn't. I just haven't told my stupid little secrets. But here's one...Yesterday I was removing the label off a wine bottle and I stabbed myself with a pearing knife in the muscle between the thumb and first finger.Let me tell you that hurt and the muscle is still like a brick in there.

5:06 PM, July 21, 2009"

Only you, wouldn't leave the bottle on the table,

Only you, would try to carve off the label

What kind of a fool, would use the knife as their tool,

Now you've sliced your thumb muscle in two.

We think you're accident prone,

You're hilarious, you one and only you.

*********

See the bottom of my blog for the complete Ongoing Ode to Cheryl.

*********

3 comments:

Cherylinn said...: LOL...I've been keeping you in the dark for awhile now...I won't tell you the other things I've done but never mentioned...; 4:49 p.m., July 24, 2009
Lauras Garden said...: Don't feel bad Cheryl. I stabbed myself in the finger Monday trying to give a plant a lethal injection of salt and vinegar. Maybe I'll blog about that snd FG will write me a song.; 6:10 p.m., July 24, 2009
Cherylinn said...: Laura, why were you giving a plant a lethal injection?; 6:02 a.m., July 25, 2009

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THE ONGOING ODE TO CHERYL

Only you ..... could pull off that kind of a trick,

Only you ..... could pierce your thumb with a pick.

You can hardly stand the pain in your hand

And the swelling's unbearable too ...

We think you're accident prone,

You're hilarious, you one and only you.

Only you ..... would run with your arms in your shirt,

Only you ..... would forget that you could get hurt.

While all tied up in your clothes, your knees took the blows,

And left shoulder got whack number two.

We think you're accident prone,

You're hilarious, you one and only you.

Only you ..... would fight a horse in the barn.

You had to know ..... you would come to some harm,

There's no need for fussin', o'er a little concussion,

Smashed eyeglasses and a blackened eye too.

We think you're accident prone,

You're hilarious, you one and only you.

Only you ... were late for making horse "mush"

Only you ... weren't careful because of the rush

You fell and scalded your arm, and your shoulder's come to harm,

The banana's been traumatized too

We think you're accident prone,

You're hilarious, you one and only you.

Only you ... could somehow injure your hip

Only you ... wouldn't remember the bump or the slip

So you're going to see Laura, who'll adjust you some more

If she can puzzle out what she needs to do

We think you're accident prone,

You're hilarious, you one and only you.

Only you ... would sit that close to the fire

Notice John ... hasn't let your insurance expire

Trying to go up in flames, it is really quite lame

Now the woodstove's all covered with goo

We think you're accident prone,

You're hilarious, you one and only you.

Only you ..... would snowshoe alone in the trees.

Only you ..... would forget how you fell on your knees.

We thought you should know, you should walk on the snow

And and not try to dance the "old soft shoe"...

We think you're accident prone,

You're hilarious, you one and only you.

Only you ..... would take a whack in the eye,.

From a branch, as you were passing by.

Only silly asses would take off their glasses,

When they're bushwacking on their snowshoes.

We think you're accident prone,

You're hilarious, you one and only you.

Only you ..... would slip and fall on your arse.

Only you ..... would injure so many parts.

Oh you didn't know there was ice under the snow,

And that hubby was watching you too.

We think you're accident prone,

You're hilarious, you one and only you.

Only you ... wouldn't leave the bottle on the table

Only you ... would try to carve off the label

What kind of a fool, Would use the knife as their tool,

Now you've sliced your thumb muscle in two

We think you're accident prone,

You're hilarious, you one and only you.